I think we may have spent so much time advocating for gender equality that we have sometimes forgotten to explain what we are actually fighting for. 

Gender equality, to me, is not a battle between men and women. It is not about women trying to become men, taking away men’s place in the society, or competing with men to prove they have arrived. It is certainly not about women doing everything men do simply to demonstrate that they are equal. 

The world has invested significant attention, resources and advocacy in gender equality because it recognizes the importance of equity. Gender equality is about ensuring that women and men have equal rights and opportunities, while recognizing that equality does not mean that they must be the same. It is about ensuring that gender does not unnecessarily determine what a person can become or contribute. When women are educated, economically empowered and able to participate in decision making, families and communities benefit. And men benefit too. 

Taking child’s education for instance, in many Nigerian homes, mothers play a very significant role in supporting their children’s education. They help with homework, communicate with teachers, monitor schoolwork and provide much of the day to day educational support children receive at home. Now imagine a society in which those mothers had been systematically denied education themselves. How much more difficult would it be for families to support the next generation? This is why I see gender equality not as a competition, but as an investment in society. 

Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, the concept has become misunderstood. Mention gender equality and some people immediately hear, “women want to be equal to men.” Others interpret it literally: “If women want equality, then let them go and do construction work like men.” But equality was never simply about making men and women identical or making everyone perform the same roles. It is about ensuring that gender does not unnecessarily limit a person’s rights, opportunities, voice or ability to contribute. 

And perhaps the question we should be asking is not only, “Who is stopping women from thriving?” It is also, “What kind of environment are we creating for people to thrive?” Gender equality is not simply about opening opportunities for women; it is about creating spaces that are safe, accessible and inclusive for both women and men, so that everyone can participate and contribute meaningfully. For women, equality also means creating environments that recognize the realities of their roles in caregiving and child nurturing among other duties while ensuring that schools, workplaces and other spaces are safe and supportive. Inclusion is therefore not just about opening the door, it is about ensuring that people can enter, participate and thrive once the door is open. 

The misunderstanding around gender equality does not come from one side alone. Sometimes gender equality and feminism are presented in ways that make men feel attacked, as though supporting women’s rights requires surrendering their masculinity or authority. At other times, people use the language of feminism to express hostility towards men. Both extremes can distort what the movement is fundamentally about. 

The result is unfortunate. Men who genuinely believe in gender equality become reluctant to speak about it because they fear being labelled. At the same time, women who want to advocate for equality may hesitate because they do not want to be perceived as disrespectful, aggressive or anti men. I think we need to return to something very basic: enlightenment. 

We need to teach both men and women what gender equality means. We need to explain what feminism means beyond the stereotypes and the noise surrounding it. We need to create room for conversations where men do not feel that supporting gender equality makes them less masculine, and where women do not feel that they have to become hostile to men in order to be strong advocates for their rights. 

We also need to understand that gender equality is not about one gender winning and another losing.  

I will end with a statement echoed by two of my role models, Dr. Ngozi Okonjo Iweala and Ibukun Awosika, that no nation can truly progress while their women behind.